you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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