Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She bit a glass in half.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
