So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
