her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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