Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
