The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
