question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
