I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
