Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
