This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
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If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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