Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
