So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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