his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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