Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
My balls are so social today.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
