You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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