he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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