i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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