we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
