youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
