Is it because I queefed?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
