Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
