you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
