I just cut my nipple shaving
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
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He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
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I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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