fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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