I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.