Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.

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  (202): Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain. http://tfl.nu/eu7i
  Replies (2) Good night (1156) Bad night (544)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.

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  (864): Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends. http://tfl.nu/vqfc
  Replies (13) Good night (733) Bad night (1836)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight

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  (818): I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight http://tfl.nu/79dr
  Replies (1) Good night (628) Bad night (1803)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  I'll teach you how to wipe better

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  (210): Dude why does my asshole itch so bad? (1-210): I'll teach you how to wipe better http://tfl.nu/7pt4
  Replies (11) Good night (548) Bad night (2552)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  There is no way he is gay with that hair.

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  (617): There is no way he is gay with that hair. http://tfl.nu/3fbq
  Replies (7) Good night (2958) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.

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  (415): So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie. http://tfl.nu/1hr1
  Replies (25) Good night (5881) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.

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  (214): It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way. http://tfl.nu/ycc8
  Replies (22) Good night (3365) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student

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  (914): threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student http://tfl.nu/czt4
  Replies (24) Good night (4995) Bad night (1159)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine

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  (512): Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine http://tfl.nu/sllr
  Replies (7) Good night (2214) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.

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  (770): I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out. http://tfl.nu/bqmt
  Replies (8) Good night (2076) Bad night (1402)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday

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  (614): Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday http://tfl.nu/2snx
  Replies (3) Good night (898) Bad night (1907)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.

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  (516): I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special. http://tfl.nu/z6a2
  Replies (6) Good night (512) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.

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  (949): I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that. http://tfl.nu/q7ek
  Replies (2) Good night (436) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.

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  (716): Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now. http://tfl.nu/i6pt
  Replies (2) Good night (679) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?

  (1-504): View more from Louisiana

  That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?

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  (504): Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up? (1-504): That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies? http://tfl.nu/79n3
  Replies (1) Good night (742) Bad night (228)

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