Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin

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  (617): Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin http://tfl.nu/g5qp
  Replies (6) Good night (795) Bad night (964)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory

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  (913): You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory http://tfl.nu/s661
  Replies (15) Good night (4056) Bad night (623)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.

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  (631): Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person. http://tfl.nu/vzo8
  Replies (15) Good night (3529) Bad night (657)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.

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  (201): if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter. http://tfl.nu/wtfv
  Replies (27) Good night (5095) Bad night (1088)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.

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  (412): thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out. http://tfl.nu/825u
  Replies (14) Good night (3649) Bad night (790)
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  (310): View more from California

  Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho

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  (310): Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho http://tfl.nu/chvf
  Replies (56) Good night (2141) Bad night (14959)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here

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  (317): She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here http://tfl.nu/ql7u
  Replies (2) Good night (2225) Bad night (765)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.

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  (330): Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge. http://tfl.nu/j5wy
  Replies (8) Good night (4368) Bad night (906)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.

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  (615): Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours. http://tfl.nu/ireg
  Replies (4) Good night (2086) Bad night (635)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I will cut you

  (1-423): View more from Tennessee

  Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Put that in perspective

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  (423): I will cut you (1-423): Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me (423): Put that in perspective http://tfl.nu/op5b
  Replies (10) Good night (1730) Bad night (540)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer

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  (647): well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer http://tfl.nu/wxzh
  Replies (3) Good night (1180) Bad night (520)
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  (347): View more from New York

  In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.

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  (347): In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well. http://tfl.nu/gd78
  Replies (5) Good night (781) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.

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  (512): You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor. http://tfl.nu/8xpn
  Replies (1) Good night (1094) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"

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  (727): How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me" http://tfl.nu/2grd
  Replies (3) Good night (718) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.

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  (423): It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers. http://tfl.nu/qq58
  Replies (2) Good night (1218) Bad night (295)

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