hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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