a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's official drugs can't kill me
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
do nipples grow back?
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