I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
