yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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