I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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