That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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