just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
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Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
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WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize