Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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