What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
