people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
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My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
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I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.