Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.