I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder