I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
