At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
