You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
