Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.