Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(626): View more from California

I bet he comes in French.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(626): I bet he comes in French. http://tfl.nu/k7nd

Replies (5) Good night (1824) Bad night (569)
Favorite
(616): View more from Michigan

GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(616): GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore? http://tfl.nu/fc2z

Replies (72) Good night (560) Bad night (3039)
Favorite
(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(860): I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass http://tfl.nu/kwec

Replies (24) Good night (1470) Bad night (5260)
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up" http://tfl.nu/ev4p

Replies (2) Good night (3063) Bad night (953)
Favorite
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(267): When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking. http://tfl.nu/7g2d

Replies (35) Good night (2013) Bad night (3655)
Favorite
(978): View more from Massachusetts

your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(978): your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop. http://tfl.nu/x1i9

Replies (12) Good night (5344) Bad night (964)
Favorite
(928): View more from Arizona

I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(928): I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera. http://tfl.nu/yx0c

Replies (36) Good night (10861) Bad night (870)
Favorite
(850): View more from Florida

I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(850): I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before. http://tfl.nu/vbyg

Replies (16) Good night (5239) Bad night (1014)
Favorite
(985): View more from Louisiana

she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(985): she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out. http://tfl.nu/kfuw

Replies (11) Good night (3573) Bad night (1001)
Favorite
(763): View more from Minnesota

Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(763): Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet http://tfl.nu/ppas

Replies (6) Good night (950) Bad night (2350)
Favorite
(406): View more from Montana

Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(406): Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king http://tfl.nu/0wfz

Replies (4) Good night (1667) Bad night (594)
Favorite
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(717): apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey http://tfl.nu/5avv

Replies (4) Good night (1830) Bad night (973)
Favorite
(480): View more from Arizona

You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(480): You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question. http://tfl.nu/us2j

Replies (14) Good night (1817) Bad night (1001)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles? http://tfl.nu/033m

Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (258)
Favorite
(702): View more from Nevada

you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(702): you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment http://tfl.nu/hzml

Replies (1) Good night (858) Bad night (190)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: