Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
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Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
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if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms