This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
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Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
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I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.