Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
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the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
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Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?