took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
