I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
