It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
wow bdsm is so cute
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