Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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