I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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