38 yer olds are good kisserssss
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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