rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
