but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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