I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
All of them.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.