Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just found a bag of teeth...
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.