u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize