he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
