just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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