dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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