On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize