I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
