I wanna bring you to show and tell
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize