it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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