so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize