you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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