I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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