Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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