k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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