is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
