seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
